By Lindsay Kornick | July 31, 2018

Feminists Plot Murder of Pro-Life Congressman on AMC’s Lefty Drama

Season one of AMC’s Dietland finally draws to a close, and what a journey it’s been. Starting from a feminist group murdering for the #MeToo movement, to playing the oppression Olympics, the show is truly the pinnacle of third-wave feminism. To prove that, we leave off on the personal targeting of pro-life members of Congress.

The July 30 season finale “Bedwomb” has our lead Plum (Joy Nash) actually working inside the feminist murder group called “Jennifer” as they continue their goal of terrorizing the male population. After their mindless male-killing, ridiculous manifesto, and the open degradation of the president as the “very worst,”the members of Jennifer begin plotting out their next course of action.

You might be wondering, how do you top targeting sexual predators? According to the show, that’s attacking pro-life congressmen, and even that might be too tame for these folks.

Sofia: In the meantime, we should be working on our next target. Wells.

Woman 1: But why Wells? There’s gotta be somebody easier to take out than a congressman. Someone who means more.

Sofia: Actually, his head of security’s about 100 years old, and not so up on the latest.

Soledad: And he is meaningful. He is destroying women’s reproductive rights.

Moana: But think about how it looks. The Dirty Dozen. Stella Cross. And then some ancient, backwater congress dude? It looks like we’re hurt or something, like we’re bitching out.

Jasmine: If you say “Optics” one more time, Moana, I swear to God…

Woman 2: My problem is that you and Sofia think you’re the leaders, even though having leaders is patriarchal crap.

Soledad: I used to feel the same way, until I realized how hard it is to get 12 people to agree on anything. I’m beginning to understand why dudes love dictatorships.

Jasmine: What I want to know, what I want to know– what’s our endgame here? We just keep killing people? Until when?

Soledad: Until women feel safer. Until they have some measure of real equality.

Jasmine: But how does that happen?

Soledad: That’s why Plum is here. She’s gonna help us do that.

Plum: Oh. I– I don’t—

Woman 3: Please. We need fresh eyes on this.

Plum: You should go after Congressman Wells. He’s a menace to women. And you need to keep the heat on. Keep up the feeling that you’re everywhere, and scary.

( All snapping fingers )

Plum: But your messaging needs work, and—

Soledad: Thank you for making that so clear. All right. Settled.

Watch out, pro-lifers. Apparently not supporting abortion now makes you a “menace” to society. And that in turn, makes you worthy of death….