I “DISCOVERED” JAMES BOND, At just 17. I walked in off the street, sat down unknowing, and was immersed in a glorious Modern Myth that was James Bond in DR. NO.
At last, a new mythology for the newly born Space Age. An indestructible mythic warrior for right and good. A high-tech Everyman who would train, learn, strive and somehow always overcome the odds against him. A Universal Hero and Winner for the time.
At that time, 1962, the musical score and production of DR. NO were overwhelming. Sean Connery was slim, light, and still beautiful. Ursula Andress was the greatest “Bond Girl” of all time.
The Bondian world was one of international super-villains, shiny metal, bright plastic, and scientific wonder.
And when Dr. No intoned,
“ SIT… DOWN….”
Everybody fricking damn well did so:
But Connery got older and larger. Then heavier. Then for decades they replaced him with a clown car full of pretenders.
And then they came up with this new guy—Daniel somebody. A guy who can walk on water. A guy oblivious to heights. A guy who faced male sadomasochistic sex (the great wet-dream of snowflake Leftists everywhere). And who said something in response, like, “What makes you think I haven’t been here before?”
See? The Left has moved in on the franchise. They want a piece of it. They view Bond as a vehicle for their perversion and lust. Bond was never perverted. He never lusted. And he never, ever changed.
Now they want him to be gay, or black, or transgenderized—or something. Go ahead—do that. Make James Bond a lesbian, gay, black, Mexican, disabled Muslim in a wheel chair. Make him anything you want.
Only don’t call him James Bond.
Because he would be somebody else. He would not be James Bond. He would be a “progressive” creation of the Left. He would be a “hero” for this “brave new age” we now seem to be stuck in. This age of the Collective. The blood-sucking group. So, give him any name you want. But not James Bond.
Oh—here’s somebody so far out of the original feel of my Bondian world that I have to quote him:
Connery’s Bond came from a time where pure escapism still had room to exist. He was a Bond born of the Cocktail Generation that lived and breathed economic denial. Connery’s Bond was brought to life during the advent of globalization. It was a world where Commies were the bad guys, and Capitalism was Savior of all mankind. Bond burst onto the screen at a time when the illusion of infinite economic prosperity seemed possible. We were sending astronauts into space and the world could watch on satellite television. The Cocktail Generation was living high, confident that Western Civilization was conquering the earth and the universe.” Over fifty years later, however, and this heavy description of Bond is no longer relevant. Times have changed pretty much everything, which means Bond also has changed.
See? Bond was from some “cocktail generation.” What the hell does that mean? Hey! Yo—fricking James Bond drank vodka, baby. Not some damn snowflake “cocktail.”
Bond was in “economic denial.” Who writes this crap? What’s that mean? “Economic denial” is some Leftist, manipulative word. Newspeak. So’s “globalization.”
Oh, and I guess “Commies” are NOT —as you say— “the bad guys?”
What the hell are they, then? The Good Guys? White Hats? Are they saviors of we who are entrapped by the evils of “Capitalism,” as you say?
Listen to me, vato. The only reason that —as you’ve said—“Western Civilization” didn’t succeed in “conquering the Earth and the universe;” and that “Bond is no longer relevant;” and that “Times have changed pretty much everything,” is this:
IT’S YOU— You Leftists—YOU, “progressives,” socialists, communists, Marxists, and One World Freaks—YOU have stood in the way at every point.
YOU have blocked global progress and alleviation of poverty. You have encouraged the spread of disease, bad water, and in-breeding. You who have caused “immigration” chaos and ruination of Earth.
You have blocked the burgeoning of economically rejuvenating Capitalism.
YOU and your enablers. You and your ilk have not contributed ONE damn thing to advancing Humanity or eradicating its plight.
Oh, no—it’s You who push and purvey and who market your own stupid version of perfect worlds.
YOU who are selling us all this fake news, fake “global warming,” fake benefits of socialism, fake wonders of Communism, fake Nobel Prizes, and the fake, unicorn-fart, One World where we will all somehow be rich and “equal.”
It’s YOU who stand in the way of Humanity. And in the way of Humanity’s own humanity.
So take your phony worlds, and your phony James Bonds, and your lies, and your fake politicians, and your fake media, and just slither back into the fake mythology of your own nightmares.
And leave us the hell alone.