SATIRE: BY JEFFREY A FRIEDBERG
I HAD JUST SAMPLED about 8 versions of “The Magic Flute,” (1791), By W. A. Mozart, and settled on two; they’re all different.
It was then, I heard about the “unpardonable sins” committed by Kate Smith— the iconic, female, white, Christian singer. Kate had once been YUGE in my native Philadelphia.
Can I say that? “Native?”
Anyway—in Philadelphia, back in the day—the Philly Flyers would not play hockey unless Kate sang.
So. What the hell did Kate do to get banned by the Yankees and have her statue covered up in Philly?
Well. Kate Smith sang some songs that said things.
As a result, she has been killed off by the PC Police, serving en masse as enforcement, law, and judge. One can only hope this group includes reported, spotlessly righteous luminaries such as Robert De Niro, Rob Reiner, Jim Carrey, Bill Maher, and —yes—hopefully—even Cher Herself.
What does this have to do with Wolfgang Amadeus “Adolph” Mozart and “The Magic Flute?”
Well. Mozart’s composition called, “The Magic Flute,” a racist work we assuredly can do without, apparently revels in black face and makes odious remarks about the black people.
And—abomination of abominations—“The Magic Flute,” openly displays a NOOSE!
And I’m not talking just a rope or string, but an actual
Mozart, was a minor racist writer whose contributions to Western Culture are considered by many to have been Nothing.
Further—in addition to racist Presidents like Washington, and Jefferson, eight other US—“Never Great”—Presidents “owned” slaves.
Und dey vill not escape us! Statutes can be smashed und deleted, in von, beeg, Communist blow for for Freedom!
It was suggested that the following (below in chart) dishonored names OF USA Presidents be replaced with “more honorable” names, such as: Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Beria, Stalin, Mao, Fidel, Kim, and others.
(AFTER the chart, learn about your guilt, white privilege und how ve vill make you pay money.)
of slaves held
|While in office?||Notes|
|1||George Washington||317||Yes (1789–1797)||Washington was a major slaveholder before, during, and after his presidency. His will freed his slaves pending the death of his widow, though she freed his slaves within a year of his death. See George Washington and slavery for more details.|
|3||Thomas Jefferson||600+||Yes (1801–1809)||Most historians believe Jefferson fathered multiple children with his quadroonslave Sally Hemings, the half-sister of his late wife Martha Wayles Skelton. See Thomas Jefferson and slavery for more details.|
|4||James Madison||100+||Yes (1809–1817)||Madison proposed the Three-Fifths Compromise, which counted slaves as three fifths of a person for the purposes of taxation and legislative representation. He did not free his slaves in his will. Paul Jennings, one of Madison’s slaves, served him during his presidency and later published the first memoir of life in the White House.|
|5||James Monroe||75||Yes (1817–1825)||Monroe supported sending freed slaves to the new country of Liberia; its capital, Monrovia, is named after him. See James Monroe#Slavery for more details.|
|7||Andrew Jackson||<200||Yes (1829–1837)||Jackson owned many slaves and faced several controversies related to slaveryduring his presidency. During his campaign for the presidency, he faced criticism for being a slave trader. He did not free his slaves in his will.|
|8||Martin Van Buren||1||No||Van Buren’s father owned six slaves. The only slave he personally owned, Tom, escaped in 1814. When Tom was found in Massachusetts, Van Buren tentatively agreed to sell him to the finder, but terms were not agreed and Tom remained free. Later in life, Van Buren belonged to the Free Soil Party, which opposed the expansion of slavery into the Western territories without advocating for abolitionism outright.|
|9||William Henry Harrison||11||No||Harrison inherited several slaves. As the first governor of the Indiana Territory, he unsuccessfully lobbied Congress to legalize slavery in Indiana.|
|10||John Tyler||70||Yes (1841–1845)||Tyler never freed any of his slaves and consistently supported slavery and its expansion during his time in political office.|
|11||James K. Polk||25||Yes (1845–1849)||Polk became the Democratic nominee for president in 1844 partially because of his tolerance of slavery, in contrast to Van Buren. He generally supported slavery as president. His will provided for the freeing of his slaves after the death of his wife, though the Emancipation Proclamation and the Thirteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution ended up freeing them long before her death in 1891.|
|12||Zachary Taylor||<150||Yes (1849–50)||Although Taylor owned slaves throughout his life, he generally resisted attempts to expand slavery in the territories. After his death, there were rumors that slavery advocates had poisoned him; tests of his body over 100 years later have been inconclusive.|
|17||Andrew Johnson||8||No||Johnson owned a few slaves and was supportive of James K. Polk’s slavery policies. As military governor of Tennessee, he convinced Abraham Lincoln to exempt that area from the Emancipation Proclamation.|
|18||Ulysses S. Grant||1||No||Although he later served as a general in the Union Army, his wife Julia had control of four slaves during the war, given to her by her father. However, it is unclear if she actually was granted legal ownership of them or merely temporary custody. All would be freed by the Emancipation Proclamation of 1863 (she chose to free them at that time even though the proclamation did not apply to her state of Missouri). Grant is known to have personally owned one slave, William Jones, from 1857 to 1859.|
Anyway, don’t worry about your obvious guilt and “white privilege” if you are white. Because if Democrats take the Presidency in. 2020, you WILL be made to pay “Reparations” to the victims of slavehood.
Even if your ancestors were being slaughtered or locked up in Europe at that time.
You will still be guilty and liable to pay reparations to folks of coleur—all they way from Al Sharpton to Liz Warren.
As I understand it, I think the only “folks” who will NOT have to pay reparations, may be those who actually did the slaving and slave-selling: Muslims, Black Africans, and the English.