SATIRE: BY JEFFREY A. FRIEDBERG
Impolite and Brief
UPDATE, Wed, Aug 14, 2019
…The worst of it, though, is that by labeling us terrorists, what CNN and O’Rourke are deliberately doing is encouraging, inspiring, excusing, and justifying violence against us.
Question: If we are indeed spreading terror, if we are guilty of sowing seeds of terror, if we are truly responsible for the massacre in El Paso, how could violence [to the Leftists] not be justified against us?
The latest secret mystery at CNN will be revealed to a breathless public—so Fredo can creep out of the headlines.
We are told it will be reported that deceased entrepreneur Jeffrey Epstein had “a dog with a good nose” he took “everywhere” with him during his “work.” That this dog, “…knew just everything that went on, during helicopter rides, boats, the pool, planes, casinos, islands, Chappaqua NY—he went everywhere. Dog had a nose for the work.”
We are told that—The Mystery Mutt, as he has been dubbed for TV—will reveal a tell-all tonight, “that will rock your world, kill Trump, and make every conservative alive burst into flames.”
The canine reportedly has stated under oath, “Rowf! Ruff-ruff-ruff, arf-arf-arf!”
Señor Blizter—with a name like, “Wolf,” —served as dog-interpreter, telling us what “EL Perro,” Actually said, what it meant, and what we should think.
WOLF: “What the Canny Canine says, is—“Trump is a murdering Nazi, who imprisons helpless children in cages; all conservatives should be killed and eaten. Orange Man Bad. Clinton knows nothing. NOTHING!”
Señor Blitzer added:
“Lo que dice este Canny Canine es: Trump es un asesino y un nazi, que encarcela a niños indefensos en jaulas, y todos los conservadores deben ser asesinados lentamente y luego comidos”.
””ما يقوله Canny Canine هذا هو – ترامب هو قاتل ونازي ، يسجن الأطفال العاجزين في الأقفاص ، ويجب قتل جميع المحافظين ببطء ، ثم أكلهم”.”
And so it goes.
Or as Uncle Walter used to say, “If it craps like a duck, it’s a duck.”
Or somebody said it….
CNN goes to Head Of The Line—for efforts to grab “real news,” get Fredo off the front page—or just make it up.